get lost!

this week, i was shocked by the comment of a previously close friend.

i was once again ranting about the ridiculous obsessions of emo teenage children with myspace. this so-called friend then asked why I enjoyed the world of blogging and after giving them a variety of reasons, they proceeded to confront me with the most abusive statement i have ever heard.

"but blogging is just the same as having a myspace."

no, it is not.

here are some reasons, it is a scientific fact:

1) The average age and IQ of a myspacer are generally equal. a blogger's IQ usually goes by the formulae "IQ = 135 + Months on Blogger"

2) A blogger does not write a list of, on average, 495 interests in the hope that their soulmate will track them down by incredibly matching up to 83% of them. some of the things people are "interested" in include: movies, music, talking with friends. really narrows it down.

3) Bloggers do not have bands as friends.

I then continued to surf the net, and came across some studies which in my mind, clarified the situation.

tree-huggers

i have a problem with environmentalists. while the majority of them lack any economic direction, they also seem to have been singled out from birth to not possess any form of intelligence. i totally believe in saving trees (although ive bent a few in my time) and saving this planet from total environmental destruction - economic concessions need to be made. but here is the problem:



"Free Enterprise really means rich people have the freedom to exploit and psychologically rape their fellow human beings . . . Capitalism is destroying the earth" ( Helen Caldicott )

great. let me remind you of something Helen. you can't change anything. capitalism has taken over. and what do environmentalists like you do. kick and scream, hoping that for some reason everyone will remarkably realise that they need to cease all activity that contributes to the slow decline of our earth. in doing this, you assume that everybody will be content when consumption and investment fizzles down to zero and we retrace our steps back into the stone age. throw away technology, leave our jobs to become farmers and plebs, resort to walking around. what is scary about this? her fellow greenies agree!

Pentti Linkola, an idiot, said.. Everything we have developed over the last 100 years should be destroyed.

you are just a genius arent you.

while some of these freaks believe that their theories will be easily achievable, some of the more conservative contingent suggest other alternatives than a mass worldwide bombing to slow down consumption. they would rather combat pollution and increasing population (leading to consumption over the environmentally sustainable level) in a far more practical way.

"cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation." ( Lyall Watson )


thanks Lyall, I always had a feeling Hannibal Lecter knew the solution to all our problems.

bunch of losers.

max brenner must die

its past midnight. im awake and pretty annoyed about it. the fact is that I just spent 2 hours at the "house of diabetes", also known as max brenner. i have a number of problems with this place where people go in the belief that chocolate will add something to your life other than weight:

1. you have to buy at least $15 worth of chocolate if you want to use eftpos. this is initially frustrating because most things in the menu are $7.40, which means you end up having to purchase 3 items, which generally decrease your life expectancy by 8 years per item. seeing as i have been there three times in the past month, there is a slim chance i will live past 30.

2. your selection of food and drink is severely hampered by the retard of a marketer they have employed. every item you can buy has a gay piece of alliteration for a name, which does not describe the product in the slightest. you usually end up getting a drink when you thought you were gettin a waffle with strawberries. sometimes you even get the chocolate frog.

3. people laugh loud. it makes it hard to concentrate on eating/creating comedy.

4. too many girls.

5. theres no tv with fox sports news on it, an essential in any social venue.

6. and the most annoying, you always bump into someone you havent seen in about 3 years and were hoping to avoid for the next 35.

i say next time we hit up oporto.

scrunch or fold?

Painful.

elegance

horses are incredibly intelligent creatures, but i think this one didn't quite make the cut. i struggle to comprehend what was going through its mind - what convinced the him that this was a good idea? i like the streamline effect achieved with the dive though..

even more entertaining is thinking how frustrating this would be for the driver. he was probably in a bit of a rush to get somewhere, only to be stopped when a horse jumped through his windscreen. cmon, seriously. i know if this happened to me i would probably make the unlikely switch to cityrail, where hopefully mentally unstable horses have not yet begun to ambush the train tracks.

i have heard many people trying to explain how they weren't at fault in the accidents they have had... well unless a horse jumped through your windscreen, i dont want to hear about it.

an anticipated return

a sudden burst of inspiration, mainly driven by the rising popularity of lachlan payne since his re-introduction to the blogging world, has forced me to get this blog on the go again. not that it was great in the first place. mainly me getting inspired about some fantasy team that was hardly interesting. i spent half the time posting anonymous comments on it myself.

its been sweet to be back in aussie, lots on the go right now. i probably dont have enough time to get a blog goin, but what the heck. i liken my return to something as epic as the Lord of the Rings. maybe even the return of the king. most people will fail to share this emotion, but at least this picture will guarantee that a few girls will read my blog..

congratulations to em cole - biggest awkward moment of the week. when asked about how we should approach non-christians about the gospel (in regards to sharing the news with radicals like Cho Seung Hui - the man behind the VT shootings), em replied that we should not be afraid to "bring out the big guns". great comment.