Fantasy Socceroos # 3

The Socceroos:

Tim Parr (GK)

D. Boon (RB) - B. Crocker (CB) - D. Kerrigan (CB) - D. Johns (LB)

Dizzy (RM) - Humphrey B. Bear (CM) - Joey (CM) - Eric Bana (LM)

Skippy (CF) - Sir Richie (CF)

BENCH:

S. Bradbury - J. Moffatt - K. Packer - R. Thistlewayte - M. Gibson

Fantasy Socceroos #2

It's time to decide on the team that is going to win us the World Cup. All of the preliminary squad have been nominated by elite members of the Australian Football Movement.

GK:

Justin Moffat -
We need a cool head at the back, one who can command the troops with wisdom, knowledge and occasional wisecracks. Definitely the delegated inspirational team talker before kick off, although there is the risk of player fatalities with the occasional outburst of passion from this inspired speaker, resulting in wildly swinging arms which are lethal at close quarters.

Tim Parr -
Undoubtedly the greatest goalkeeper to ever have an Australian sounding name.
Rumour has it that tim parr has been approached by the Australian Football Federation and has been offered a contract to become the first ever national flying goalie.

'Plugger' Lockett -
Large leaper. Expert catcher. Top bloke. Fast movement may be an issue.

The Holy Spirit -
There is no way anyone could score cause the Holy Spirit would just enter numerous bodies that would cover the entire goal.

Goalkeeper:
	Justin Moffatt
	Tim Parr
	'Plugger' Lockett
	The Holy Spirit
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Defenders:

Kerry Packer -
He's a bit stiff these days. .but he could buy us a win if need be, especially from a game against some Koreans or Iraqis..

David Boon -
Rough as guts with the dinky-die attitude, who could go past this moustache. Imagine the likes of ronaldinho and henry trying to outfox the agility of this man who's hobbies include tai-chi and the dance machine game at time zone.

Kim 'Fat' Beazley -
Can't beat the Fat.

Barry Crocker -
For being in the dictionary. He has also won 4 'mo' awards. In my world thats some well maintained facial hair.

John Howard -
Would be good for all the on camera stuff, hes very verbose and confident in front of an audience also a great lier which is a pre-requisite for any soccer player in the world cup as they try to convince the fans that the other team was playing dirty.

Daniel Johns -
Once wrote a song about himself, titled 'freak'. this pretty much describes his potential as wingback. freak.

Dale Kerrigan -
Could provide on-field commentary to keep the team's morale high. Extreme good looks improve overall ability.

Defenders: (Pick 4)
	Kerry Packer
	David Boon
	Kim 'Fat' Beazley
	Barry Crocker
	John Howard
	Daniel Johns
	Dale Kerrigan
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Midfielders:

Robbie Slater -
Always a winner with the crowds. Be it his military issued haircut or his habit of being present with his family at Forestville RSL, the mans a winner. Germany here comes Slater.

Eric Bana -
Eric Bana could be the superstar of the team. If we triple split his personality between the Troy 'Robert Pires' look, the Mark Brandon 'Chopper' Reid and the master of kickboxing, Con Petropoulous, we would have a secret weapon to unleash...

Ray Thistlewayte -
Would slot in nicely at Centre Mid, has the desired vocal and rythmic guitar abilities to command the troops from the middle. He also has a stylish mullet with comes with some ingeniously styled facial hair - sure to attract supporters.

Jason Gillespie -
Higher top score that David Boon. Can learn any skill in just a few days. Definite possibility for any position he desires.

Russ Crowe -
Big Russell is stronger than tony carroll. And smarter than him too. Maybe.

Joey Johns -
Pure magic. whether u love the knights or only like them alot, you have to admit that his skills are probably superior to that of the best sportsman ever - david batty.

Darryl Kerrigan -
Hero.

Humprhey Bear -
Tantalizing performances on live broadcasts have proven that he does not succumb to pressure and is sure to dazzle the crowds with his quick footwork.

Midfield: (Pick 4)
	Robbie Slater
	Eric Bana
	Ray Thistlewayte
	Jason Gillespie
	Russ Crowe
	Joey Johns
	Darryl Kerrigan
	Humphrey Bear
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Strikers:

Sir Richie Benaud -
This man has called 500+ cricket games in his life passing the milestone in the 5th test at the Oval, Eng v Aus.

Paul Hogan -
Tbe 'real' croc hunter, all others (ie steve irwin) should be exiled. And he was a painter on the Harbour Bridge before he became an actor.

Mel Gibson -
Pretty much guaranteed to win about 5 penalties a game, based on his convincing performances in 'what women want' and 'signs'.

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo -
Set piece specialist. Has scored 100% of goals off the head.

Farouk -
The most 'explosive' goalscorer.

Strikers: (Pick 2)
	Sir Richie Benaud
	Paul Hogan
	Mel Gibson
	Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
	Farouk
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Super Sub:

Steven Bradbury -
While being the top Australian Olympian in the history of the Games, he has also perfected the technique of snatching a win out of the grasp of the competition. Opposition will often end up on the ground.

Harry Potter from channel 10 news -
No reason.

Harry Potter -
Absolutely no reason.

Michael Slater -
Dazzling performances behind the mike (da-daaa...MAX) have revealed the genius that is Michael '219' Slater.

Super Sub: (Pick 1)
	Steven Bradbury
	Harry Potter from Channel 10 News
	Harry Potter
	Michael Slater
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Duke of Norfolk's XI

I was lucky enough to be selected in the Duke of Norfolk's XI to play against the MCC unsigned county players team at Arundel Castle Ground. Our team was comprised of the Sussex Development Squad and...me. The Head of Sport at Brighton College is also a Head Coach at Sussex Cricket Club and the Duke of Norfolk has appointed him to select the team each year. The team we were playing against were the highest quality players from county sides all over England who had come through their development systems, but had not yet been signed by their respective teams. Im pretty sure that some of them will be soon though...absolute freaks.

Arundel Castle Ground is wicked...while the ground itself is enough to make it so sweet to play on, the surroundings make it spectacular. One side of the ground just falls away after the boundary and overlooks the town of Arundel. The cathedral sits just out of eyesight and rings its bells frequently, while the Arundel Castle sits adjacent to the ground and makes a good target for sixes... during my bowling. And if all this isnt enough, this ground has been rated by many international players as their favourite, and all sorts of sporting heroes have played on the Arundel Strip. I have added some photos of people playing at Arundel...

The game ended up being pretty close. They batted first and got 4/255 off 55 overs, with the last two batsmen on 51* and 102*. In reply we managed to make 7/240 off 51 overs, before the match was declared a draw. I was stoked when i got asked to open the bowling, and after being punished off my first over, hit for 12...i ended up with figures of 0/20 off 8 overs. I was scheduled to bat next at the end of the game, and was rather relieved when our no.9 managed to hang in there until the end - the fastest bowler id ever seen was on and i wasnt too keen on losing the function of any body parts.

Overall, a ripper of a day. Will never forget it.

Great Britian and Two Chavs

Gonna backtrack a bit for this one...

Went around England and Wales with Poggy 'The Phat' Boyatzis for 10 days in feb. Had a sweet as time, fairly cruisy. It ended up being 10 cities in 10 days. skills. some 'moments' included...

Cambridge- Wicked buildings, rad scenery. Besides the two students dressed in Medieval Armour fighting to the death with swords in the park, everyone was pretty normal. King's College Chapel was incredible, we stayed to hear the evensong which was pretty breathtaking.

Our first night in the hostel proved quite challenging, with showers designed by engineers who must have dropped out of primary school. It resulted in the worst shower ever, where if u stepped into the flow of the water, u turned the tap off.

Nottingham- Robin hood can die. But Trentbridge was kick ass.

York- Met up with one of my other Gappie's, Kate, who's family has just moved from South Africa to York. We went to 'Betty's', this cafe which was meant to be worth it. Mate, there is no chance it was even nearly worth it. I could have bought a car instead. It cost me about $13 for a sandwich.

Pete and I then strolled around York for the day. While our primary ambition was to find band badges for our hats, we also managed to see and climb york minster. It's big. Oh yeah. And then we trekked round the York Wall before going out for dinner with Katie and her younger brother. The waiters were bonafide retards and decided to read us the Specials of the Day three times.

Manchester- Saw Old Trafford Cricket Ground. Saw Old Trafford. Was happy.

Liverpool/Chester- Saw the KOP. Home of 'the Gerrard'. What a hero. Liverpool is the mo

st cultural city in Europe, but i failed to be that impressed, with a predominant number of the buildings being art museums. not really my style, if u dig my vibe.

North Wales- Stayed with Nain + Taid, the Grandparents of my sister's friend Lowri. We got to visit Caernaforn, Conwy and Beaumaris Castles, the actual structures were incredible, and once you were inside, the views from the towers was astounding...we even found some time to pop into the town 'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'.

Cardiff- Saw the Millenium Stadium. The day before the Carling Cup Final. What was the score? Oh thats right, Man U won! congratulations wigan you hacks.

Bath- My favourite place by a long shot, as cool as Peter Griffin and Kim Jong Il combined. Pretty much everything was made of sandstone and pretty much everything used to be a chapel. The stores, the hotels, the toilet block...all chapels in a previous life. The Roman Baths cost about $25 to get into, but it was well worth it, unfortunately we werent able to 'cannonball' .

Bristol- What a hole.

"Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Gweat to see you again, Hans!"

'The King is Dead.'

IQ..

Was having a chat the other night with the crew from the house, and we stumbled upon the conversation of 'natural intelligence' vs 'manufactured IQ'.


In what turned into a full-scale argument involving the throwing of homous, we finally called the matter a stalemate.My conclusion was that it is to hard to determine whether the someone's academic ability is more influenced by their natural capability at birth or the skills the develop throughout their education etc. The following points came up:

Natural Intelligence:

1. The basic fact that some people just understand things better and are quicker to comprehend and process information. Is it genetic?
2. Apparently intelligence is correlated with head size - big heads are a thing of beauty.
3. MP is walking testament to the fact that the concept of 'i do no work and beat people' works.

Manufactured IQ:

1. Academic success relies heavily upon confidence. Someone who is on top of their work will obviously be able to progress and focus their attention on understanding new work, while a struggler will be more overwhelmed by new information.
2. Studies show that IQ is affected by school attendance - adds weight to the claims that education is the primary foundation for a human's level of intelligence.
3. The fact that George Bush is president leads me to believe that natural intelligence does not exist, at least not in America.

Keep nominations rolling in for the Fantasy Socceroos...

http://mattyoungos.blogspot.com/2006/04/fantasy-socceroos.html

46 days till we get to see the Aussies flatten Brazil. And Japan. And Croatia.

Fantasy Socceroos

After watching in frustration for years as Frank Farina employed similar team sheets and ineffective formations, the time has come for us to create a team of all-rounders who will best represent our country.

I suggest that we compile a list of the best possible 11 Australians + subs that will win us the world cup. After my recent consultations with Guus, he has decided this is a great idea. He wants to employ a 4-4-2 system and has given us the whole Australian population to choose our squad from. The time has come to put forward ur suggestions, with sound reasoning, and create the greatest team in the history of mankind (in a close 2nd is the lithuanian pole-vaulting team).

I will begin by nominating:

GK - Justin Moffatt. We need a cool head at the back, one who can command the troops with wisdom, knowledge and occasional wisecracks. Definitely the delegated inspirational team talker before kick off, although there is the risk of player fatalities with the occasional outburst of passion from this inspired speaker, resulting in wildly swinging arms which are lethal at close quarters.

RB - David Boon. Rough as guts with the dinky-die attitude, who could go past this moustache. Imagine the likes of ronaldinho and henry trying to outfox the agility of this man who's hobbies include tai-chi and the dance machine game at time zone. attackers practically give the ball to him after one look at those flaming red cheeks and harsh stubble.

SUB - Steven Bradbury. This nomination is almost unneccesary. While being the top Australian Olympian in the history of the Games, he has also perfected the technique of snatching a win out of the grasp of the competition. Opposition will often end up on the ground.

Post your suggestions here.

Madrid. Golden.

I have just returned from an awesome week in Madrid...total bliss. You don't appreciate the sun until you live in england - and being able to kit up in some shorts and thongs was heaven. I travelled with 4 of the gappies im living with...from left to right its Zoe (aus), Kate (s.a.), Tom (zim) and Thabo(s.a.)...and me on the end.
we spent most of the week just checkin out the city, its an amazing place. Highlights were definitely the royal palace - totally swell - and the gardens surrounging it are just way too big, the centere of town, 'puerta de sol', also tended to get quite lively at night as well.. unfortunately i spent the week living below the poverty line, trying to survive on the equivalent of $A200... sounds like heaps, but trust me, it aint.
it is so much better to be female when ur travelling! i spent all my money trying to keep my stomach content, while the ladies just got to... 'galavant'. It was also a fairly challenging week in terms of the lack of english spoken. Being an ignorant tourist, i assumed that they would at least all be able to communicate in my language. wrong. people look at you strange when u speak english. so i resorted to trying to learn spanish phrases like 'i dont understand you' and 'a big mac meal with a sprite'. it tended to work, except when once i was telling a guy that 'i dont speak spanish' and i failed to add the word spanish on the end of the sentence. he was understandably confused when i told him that 'i dont speak.'

Although hostel was quite cramped, it was tops. The rooms with 14 beds, the oblivious Costa Rican who snored in her sleep and the people that turned up at 3am in the morning, grabbing ur leg in the dark as they search for their beds....all reminded me of good old camp. out of the 9 other people in our room, i ended up having mutual friends with 3 of them, way too small a world. crazy stuff! even better was the morning half way through our week when i was leaving the hostel and walked straight into Jules Naylor, chick from my school. she was stayin at my hostel! we had an awesome chat and she had been to the bull-fighting..i never knew they kill the bulls! its absolute carnage, they spear them about 6 times and then the gay dude with the red sheet pulls out a sword and stabs it! pretty graphic stuff (surely there are some animal brigades unhappy about this?!)

While the rest of my trip didnt exactly involve watching animal slaughter, i did go to the zoo. now dont underestimate the 'x-factor' and sheer class of the zoo, it dominates many other things you might do with your day. and it confirmed to me that the rhino is definitely the most fearsome creature. we spent a day in toledo as well, which is this old town, that has an awesome structure. kinda like a cross between jerusalem and ministireth. put em together, throw a cathedral at the top of the hill, and u have toledo. they also make sweet samurai's swords there, was about to buy one but then i realised i had to eat for the next 3 days. on our last day, tom and i went to the bernabeu. it was sweet as, and although the tickets had been sold out for the weekend match, we still got to see inside. rad.

arrived back at brighton at 2:30am. sleep was sensational.

---Spanish Snaps---

Don't tell me he's not farting.

Check the 'Mo'

'Bing Lee' Pose

Crystal Palace

Definitely the Harry Potter Portkey

Centre of Madrid - 'Puerta del Sol'

The Start and The Socceroos...

I hope this is the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. Its a bit of a weird concept, but it seems like lots of people are enjoying, so wat the heck. Makes it a bit easier to relay what is going on over here in england...for starters they are terrible sportsman. Their skill levels are equal to that of Didier Drogba (most rubbish player in history) and they cannot comprehend that winning the Ashes 19 times in a row is a bit harder than claiming it once.

I guess ill start my first post on the upcoming World Cup...unfortunately, i didnt manage to get any tickets, but i will be watching the games...at a reasonable time, unlike MP who will not sleep for the whole month. wish i could be there mate. its great to see the aussies coming into a rich vein of form of late, for example:

Viduka:
In March - 4 goals in 4 games, played a brilliant match in the FA Cup this week.
He's back into it, and he's larger, stronger, possibly fatter, but he's the Viduka who can take on 6 men with his back turned. As long as he doesnt have another 'VIDUKA' moment (heading it 14 metres over from right in front against Uruguay 2001), he could be in for a good campaign.
Kewell:
In the last month - 1 goal, 1 assist.
Liverpool have been in fine form of late, having won their last 5. Harry Kewell has been an essential part of their midfield in each of these games and has shown some of the class that we used to know.

Bresciano:
Recently: 6 goals in his last 8 games in Serie A.
Could be the key i reckon. He's started the last 15 games and played the full length of most of them. He has also scored a goal in each of our last two international friendlies.

Neill:
5 goals conceded in 5 games.
Not too bad, considering its Blackburn. And the fact is that they are undefeated. He has been playing full matches, so he is definitely fit and ready to break more legs.

Schwarzer:
In the last month: Had a total barry. But who cares? after 'that' penalty save against uruguay we will forgive him for anything in true australian fashion..just like we have all forgotten that warney took drugs.

Robby Slater:
After recent form with the microphone, Slater has definitely caused chatter on the selection commitee and may be set for a recall to the national team. What a legend.

Ricky Ponting:
I believe this man can do pretty much anything. Put him in that gold jersey and he's sure to net a few. Plus he's good mates with a couple of heroes - Big Merv, Big Bad Boony and Warney.

With these men behind our team, Im starting to fancy our chances...