It's time to decide on the team that is going to win us the World Cup. All of the preliminary squad have been nominated by elite members of the Australian Football Movement.
GK:
Justin Moffat -
We need a cool head at the back, one who can command the troops with wisdom, knowledge and occasional wisecracks. Definitely the delegated inspirational team talker before kick off, although there is the risk of player fatalities with the occasional outburst of passion from this inspired speaker, resulting in wildly swinging arms which are lethal at close quarters.
Tim Parr -
Undoubtedly the greatest goalkeeper to ever have an Australian sounding name.
Rumour has it that tim parr has been approached by the Australian Football Federation and has been offered a contract to become the first ever national flying goalie.
'Plugger' Lockett -
Large leaper. Expert catcher. Top bloke. Fast movement may be an issue.
The Holy Spirit -
There is no way anyone could score cause the Holy Spirit would just enter numerous bodies that would cover the entire goal.
Kerry Packer -
He's a bit stiff these days. .but he could buy us a win if need be, especially from a game against some Koreans or Iraqis..
David Boon -
Rough as guts with the dinky-die attitude, who could go past this moustache. Imagine the likes of ronaldinho and henry trying to outfox the agility of this man who's hobbies include tai-chi and the dance machine game at time zone.
Kim 'Fat' Beazley -
Can't beat the Fat.
Barry Crocker -
For being in the dictionary. He has also won 4 'mo' awards. In my world thats some well maintained facial hair.
John Howard -
Would be good for all the on camera stuff, hes very verbose and confident in front of an audience also a great lier which is a pre-requisite for any soccer player in the world cup as they try to convince the fans that the other team was playing dirty.
Daniel Johns -
Once wrote a song about himself, titled 'freak'. this pretty much describes his potential as wingback. freak.
Dale Kerrigan -
Could provide on-field commentary to keep the team's morale high. Extreme good looks improve overall ability.
Midfielders:
Robbie Slater -
Always a winner with the crowds. Be it his military issued haircut or his habit of being present with his family at Forestville RSL, the mans a winner. Germany here comes Slater.
Eric Bana -
Eric Bana could be the superstar of the team. If we triple split his personality between the Troy 'Robert Pires' look, the Mark Brandon 'Chopper' Reid and the master of kickboxing, Con Petropoulous, we would have a secret weapon to unleash...
Ray Thistlewayte -
Would slot in nicely at Centre Mid, has the desired vocal and rythmic guitar abilities to command the troops from the middle. He also has a stylish mullet with comes with some ingeniously styled facial hair - sure to attract supporters.
Jason Gillespie -
Higher top score that David Boon. Can learn any skill in just a few days. Definite possibility for any position he desires.
Russ Crowe -
Big Russell is stronger than tony carroll. And smarter than him too. Maybe.
Joey Johns -
Pure magic. whether u love the knights or only like them alot, you have to admit that his skills are probably superior to that of the best sportsman ever - david batty.
Darryl Kerrigan -
Hero.
Humprhey Bear -
Tantalizing performances on live broadcasts have proven that he does not succumb to pressure and is sure to dazzle the crowds with his quick footwork.
Strikers:
Sir Richie Benaud -
This man has called 500+ cricket games in his life passing the milestone in the 5th test at the Oval, Eng v Aus.
Paul Hogan -
Tbe 'real' croc hunter, all others (ie steve irwin) should be exiled. And he was a painter on the Harbour Bridge before he became an actor.
Mel Gibson -
Pretty much guaranteed to win about 5 penalties a game, based on his convincing performances in 'what women want' and 'signs'.
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo -
Set piece specialist. Has scored 100% of goals off the head.
Farouk -
The most 'explosive' goalscorer.
Super Sub:
Steven Bradbury -
While being the top Australian Olympian in the history of the Games, he has also perfected the technique of snatching a win out of the grasp of the competition. Opposition will often end up on the ground.
Harry Potter from channel 10 news -
No reason.
Harry Potter -
Absolutely no reason.
Michael Slater -
Dazzling performances behind the mike (da-daaa...MAX) have revealed the genius that is Michael '219' Slater.
1 comment:
This Blog just magnified its awesomeness by 1000% due to the inclusion of the words "Michael Slater"
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